Madina Boyd
Military Veteran, FBI Psychologist, Member of the Global Response Force, Soviet Survivor
Writing letters to family should be a casual and relaxing experience, but, for Madina Boyd, reaching out to her mother involved delicately crafting messages that had to get through screening by the KGB, the Soviet Union’s top security agency. She had defected from her home country to join the United States Military, leaving behind everything to excel to heights she never thought possible for a girl born into oppression and poverty. Yet, despite her own strength, Boyd’s story proves that kindness has the power to save lives.
The KGB could not stand the fact that a Soviet born citizen would betray her country to fight for the enemy; they made this known by repeatedly shaming and threatening Boyd’s mother who remained in their town in southern Kazakhstan. Even her neighbors would self-police and spread lies to give the KGB excuses to harass her. Boyd’s mother survived because she knew when to be tough and rigid. She had a reputation, and no one dared cross her. When Boyd was in daycare, teachers would line up kids wearing nothing but their shirts and underwear, beating them as corporal punishment. She stood strong as the other children began to cry at the thought of what came next. When her teacher noticed Boyd’s courage, she came over to pummel it out of her. Without hesitation, Boyd looked her tormentor in the eyes and said,
“I’m going to tell Mom.”
Hearing this threat disguised as a statement, the teacher stopped. Rather than risk the wrath of Boyd’s mother, she decided instead to pack the kids inside a dark closet and lock the door. This would not be the last time the reputation of her family shielded Boyd. And if the reputation was not enough, her mother would physically defend them herself, thus solidifying her reputation further. She went so far as to fight off multiple people who attacked her in the street. Yet despite her rugged exterior, Boyd’s mother still held incredible kindness and empathy for those in need, and Boyd obtained all these qualities from her. Her toughness served her well in the U.S. Military, and her empathy and appreciation for the few who did not mistreat her played a role in her seeking a career as an FBI Psychologist.
“It was how far just one correctly placed act of kindness can take a person because that definitely kept the faith in humanity in me, honestly that people give a damn. To this day, if I’m standing in line and I see someone struggle, I buy them groceries. I [have to] because it’s just one of those things that I know what it’s like.”
Boyd had been mistreated for the color of her skin and her sex while facing additional social rejection from being the daughter of a single mother with multiple kids. The people she should have been able to look up to as role models, like her teachers, blatantly persecuted her without remorse. Boyd recalls when she was four years old, and her teacher’s child handed out strawberries, a rarity, to her classmates. Before she received one, her instructor said,
“Don’t give any to her, she’s dirty.”
Confused, Boyd looked down at her hands to see if she had missed any dirt.
“What? No I’m not; I washed my hands.”
“No, you’re dirty. Get out of here.”
Whenever Boyd sees a strawberry, she recalls that staggering hatred to this day. Even though Boyd was native to Kazakhstan, everyone viewed her as dirty as a result of the Russians who established themselves as superior when they started to immigrate after the fall of the Soviet Union. Even though the Russians were technically Asian, they looked White, and that is what mattered to them. Because of this, her school teachers would point to pictures of light-skinned German and Ukrainian children and say,
“Why can’t you be like these kids? This is why you’re so dumb, because you don’t look like them”
Boyd’s childhood certainly pushed her down over and over again. Through poverty and racism, she had to fight every second of her life. She finds herself where she is today because kindness saved her from torment, injury, and even death. When she was twelve, while shopping for bread, a man approached her and asked if she wanted a ride. Boyd responds with a polite “No, thank you,” but the man was not going to accept this. Furious, he rants that she is not better than him and orders his cronies to grab her. Picked up by her arms and legs, Boyd could do nothing. A store clerk then noticed the commotion and asked the men what was happening.
“Bitch, you mind your own business. Otherwise, you’ll be next.”
Boyd understood that she was going to die, and, before completely going numb, squeaked out what could have been her last words,
“Mom.”
Her mother was not here to protect her this time, but someone else was. Hearing this, the store clerk disregarded her own safety and screamed for help; Russian men came and fought off her attackers.
All Boyd was told by others was that she was wrong, and as a little girl who only ever lived in her home country, the constant bombardment of this horrible message affected her deeply, yet she still was able to find the light. Occasionally, Russian-born people would give her compliments such as calling her sweet, cute, or charming. Fleeting admiration from strangers was enough to fuel the fire inside Boyd. Eventually, she met a man whose admiration was more than fleeting.
A professor from Harvard University in the United States came to Kazakhstan for work, and the two met while walking dogs. Boyd was very interested in Americans after more foreigners began appearing. She befriended the professor, and, despite their age difference, fell in love. Ultimately, he is one reason Boyd is alive today. He loved her and took on some of her “baggage” as his own, and they returned to the United States together where they were married. Soon after, the professor got a new job in Armenia, and they picked up Boyd’s younger brother who they began to raise as if he were their own son. Once the professor’s contract ended, he took on even more responsibilities as a caretaker when Boyd started attending Webster University in the Netherlands. Receiving a college education was extremely important to Boyd because she felt it safeguarded her from falling back into the level of poverty she once knew. After her father left and the country collapsed, their only source of income came from her mother who was a violinist and pianist. No one wanted a musician during those times. Eventually, all they had were the clothes on their backs. Boyd wore a pair of tattered jeans that did not cover what they were supposed to as well as a long shirt that hid the enormous holes in the pants. Bathing was to keep from stinking more than to clean, and the number of meals Boyd and her siblings had dwindled from one a day to one every other day to one every three days. The hunger pains that resulted were so strong that they could not sleep and felt like they had been stabbed with a knife. While she knew she needed food, her body had become so accustomed to this feeling that it stopped wanting it, so smelling delicious elicited no reaction. This feeling was so powerful that the first time her husband took her out for pizza, she took one bite and threw up. While the effects of extreme poverty left a lasting impression on her, the hands of those closest to Boyd reaching out to her was enough to save her.
The love of her mother protected her through every hardship as a child, the care of her husband saved her and her family by allowing them to come to America, the strength of the men who fought for her allowed her to keep living, the soft words spoken from strangers helped her understand that she was not dirty, and she continued to believe in herself. Battling in the military, profiling for the FBI, and deploying for the Global Response Force were all ways in which she returned that kindness to the world.
The impact that one person can have is downplayed by the negative people of the world. Boyd is a strong person, but she knows she would not be where she is today without the support of those who were good to her.
“Kindness is the biggest thing. Just random acts of kindness.”
With these words, Boyd hopes others see her story and realize that they need to extend kindness to all. Regardless of race, gender, or social class, everyone has the potential to save someone else.
Boyd’s story should serve as a lesson that as long as you look for the good in life, now matter how scarce that may be, you can push through and achieve a brighter future. Doing so while being a beacon for others can be what they need to understand this lesson as well, creating a safer and better world for everyone. Starting today, remember Boyd’s experience.
Be kind.
